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Sometimes it is so easy for me to tell others how to stay positive and to focus on the good. Sometimes I fall short and allow fear to enter my mind. The following is a post - that I posted - in my Cancer support group today!
"Sometimes, out of nowhere, I am reminded of the fear I still have that the cancer will come back and that I will die from it. I try to remain positive all the time. I try to live like I am okay - on the other side of this disease...but the reality is that my reality is shaken and different. I wish, I hope, I pray...I want to never experience cancer again - God willing!"
It sounds like I am gripped with fear. And it is true, sometimes I allow Satan to enter my mind and tell me things about myself that God has never once said about me. I think when I let this happen to me - what I am really saying is "God, I am weak right now and I just can't be as strong as you say I am...help me." We all get to this point from time to time.
Whether that point is from a medical diagnosis, a phone call telling us a loved one has passed, a failing grade, a feeling of rejection, a terrible heart-break...in these lonely dark moments we sometimes allow ourselves to "feel" less than we are - and that let's Satan inside our minds to fill it with doubt, fear and hopelessness.
My truth is that there may come a day when I receive more bad news about Cancer, but I need to remind myself that God is right there with me, in the Good and the Bad. One of the visions I had during my treatments was at church. I was at church singing during worship and I instantly had a vision of Jesus. He showed himself to me at every critical stage of treatment. He was in the Surgical room (showing light to my surgeon), he was in the chair next to me during Chemotherapy holding my hand (so if you were one of Chemo Angles, know Jesus was sitting on you - lol), and he was holding my chest/stomach area during my scans. He was there every step of the way.
That vision didn't just comfort me it awakened inside of me the power of belief, self-healing, prophetic visions, and the ability to just "know" the lord's word. All because I accepted the vision, believed (without any hesitation) what was shown to me. And yet I am here to say that even with that...I fall short and I allow fear to creep in my mind and destroy the Peace Jesus provided me.
Ask yourself, are you actively destroying the peace given to you by Jesus? Because if we (Psalms 46:10) Be still and accept that God is God - we really don't have to worry about anything. He has never said we won't go through the hills and valleys, but he has always said "I am right there with you".
I have such a long road in front of me - to get to where I want to be spiritually. I have to learn to overcome my fear, to let God be God, to trust in him completely. To accept his will - no matter what. I need to learn to be a humble and faithful servant to him. Because until I do these small steps in faith, I will never be ready for the larger steps of faith. I don't want to miss out on God's call and purpose for my life.
Fear is so debilitating. It wreaks havoc on our minds and bodies. Sometimes when we think of Satan and his ability to destroy us, we conjure up images from scary movies...Satan doesn't even have to lift a finger to destroy us. We give him all the power he needs - when we focus on doubt, fear and negative thoughts. So if there is anyone else out there today swimming in self-doubt and paralyzing fear - listen to what God says about us - you - me - and his love and protection of us!
1. Isaiah 41:10 "fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
2. Philippians 4:6-7 "in nothing be anxious but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your heart and your thought in Christ Jesus."
3. Proverbs 29:25 "The fear of people proves to be a snare, but whoever puts his trust in the Lord is kept safe."
4. Psalm 34:4 "I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears."
5. Psalm 46:1 "God is our refuge and strength, and ever-present help in trouble."
For anyone struggling with anxiety, fear and depression post cancer treatments...here is a great link (Cancer.org) that I hope helps.
https://www.cancer.org/treatment/treatments-and-side-effects/emotional-side-effects/anxiety-fear-depression.html
