Let Your Struggles Be Your Testimony and Praise

 

Let Your Struggles Be Your Testimony and Praise

I started this Blog years ago when I had conquered the beast named Cancer the first time. I wanted to share with everyone how my belief in God allowed me to view Cancer as a blessing. Then I got cancer again and by the grace of God I beat it a second time. Now I write this post today to say  - I will battle it a third time and will beat it a third time.

As I have only ever wanted to be honest with you about the ups and downs of cancer and the strength I draw from Jesus to get through this disease, I continue to promise to be honest, even now when I am not fearful, but angry, I am not in the depths of despair, but determined, when I am no longer seeking isolation but reaching out to many for their strength and comfort. I have learned a lot in these four years with this disease. I don’t honestly know if this “different” approach is going to net me a “different” outcome, but I do know that even if cancer takes my body, it can never take my joy and peace of mind that I have only through Christ.

Two days ago, I opened up a fortune cookie and my fortune was ironic (now that I know my cancer is back). It said, “Your fears will become your greatest strengths soon.” Read that again – is that not the greatest comforting phrase. God tells us repeatedly in the bible that we are not planned and purposed for fear and doubt, that we are designed to have faith and believe that he alone has worked this all out.

I told friends recently that I felt like I was living in the “bonus”. I have seen with my own eyes how God has kept promises to me, promises he gave me when I was battling the cancer the first time and desperate to see things in my daughter’s life. I have seen them. If my “bonus” time ends sooner than I would like, I cannot allow myself to be angry at God (I am angry at Cancer), because he has never let me down.

To any non-believers please hear this out: Yesterday I am sure my report was able to be sent to me early in the day. However, my doctor waited to send it to me at 6:30 p.m. when I was pulling into the church parking lot to have my weekly bible study with my lovely Vessels. I have been teaching (and co-teaching) the Gospels and now Acts the past few weeks and it has been amazing to spread my knowledge and the ministry of Jesus with these ladies. God knew that I was going to be angry, that I would need to process “bad news” and instead of me being alone with this news, he gave it to me at a place filled with hope, love and comfort and most importantly a room full of BELIEVERS that got down on their knees (well some – let’s be honest we are some old gals and that knee thing isn’t always doable) and called out to God for my healing, in my presence and wrapped me up with hugs and encouraging thoughts and prayers. I was exactly where I needed to be. AND THAT WAS ALL GOD!

I can’t tell you that I won’t have moments of fear and doubt as I go through this again, what I can say is that I am definitely more determined, more focused and more hopeful this time. I don’t doubt that this process is meant to teach me something, show me something, teach someone else something. Nothing is by chance or unplanned. I have full faith and belief that God is about to work again on my behalf. The struggle is real, the pain will be real, the physical toll will be real – but I believe in God’s love, grace, will and timing. I don’t have to know the outcome or worry about this anymore, because he’s got this and he's got me.

Even though this disease is a part of me – let me shout it out – this CANCER DOES NOT DEFINE ME. Nope! JESUS DEFINES ME. You see getting to the part of your life, where you count it all as “Bonus” means that you accept death. Finally accepting the realities that are inevitable for all of us, frees me to live completely in this moment, plan for this moment and give this entire moment to Jesus. I live now to spread the joy of the WORD to others. I live now to demonstrate how good our GOD truly is. I plan now for joyful moments. I give nothing to the enemy. I give no time to things that try to steal my JOY. Afterall life is so precious and so fleeting. None of us are promised a tomorrow, but you woke up today and that means God still has purpose for you.

So, I am going to keep smiling about all the joys God gives me today, while laying seeds down for my future tomorrows. I trust completely in the timing of God and he knows that I have already seen my earthly blessings (the things I most wanted) and he knows how thankful I am to him for those and that I see this as the “BONUS – THE EXTRA BLESSING”, and that as stated in Psalms 23:5 “My cup runneth over”.

Don’t stop believing in miracles. Don’t stop believing in the power of prayer. Don’t give up on today, because God has so much planned for you and if he calls you home sooner than you would like, hold on to the promise that is Heaven and Eternal Salvation.

This week’s song is from Poison. LOL – I know this may shock some, especially those that think all heavy metal is bad. But I have to say I understand the song writer’s pain and anguish. The song “Something to Believe In” was released in 1990. Bret Michaels (the band’s lead singer) wrote the song after learning of the death of his friend bodyguard. The lyrics are deep and I think they express our shock and grief when bad things happen. I believe God is always looking for ways to show us “Something to Believe in”.

Lyrics:

Well I see him on the TV

Preaching ‘bout the promised lands

He tells me “believe in Jesus”

Steals the money from my hands

Some say he was a good man

Lord I think he sinned, yeah yeah

 

Twenty two years of mental fears

Cries a suicidal Vietnam vet

Who fought a losing war on a foreign shore

To find his country didn’t want him back

Their bullets took his best friends in Saigon

Our lawyers took his wife, his kids, no regrets

In a time I don’t remember

In a war he can’t forget

He cried “forgive me for what I done there

‘Cause I never meant the things I did”

 

And give me something to believe in

If there’s a Lord above

And give me something to believe in

Oh, Lord arise

 

My best friend died a lonely man

In some Palm Springs hotel room

I got the call last Christmas Eve

And they told me the news

I tried all night not to break down an’ cry

As the tears rolled down my face

I felt so cold and empty

Like a lost soul out of place

And the mirror, mirror on the wall

See my smile it fades again

 

Uh, give me something to believe in

If there’s a Lord above

Uh, give me something to believe in

Oh, Lord arise

 

Sometimes I wish to God I didn’t know now

Things I didn’t know then

Road you gotta take me home

 

I drive by the homeless sleepin’ on a cold dark street

Like bodies in an open grave

Underneath the broken old neon sign

Used to read “Jesus saves”

A mile away live the rich folk

And I see how they’re livin’ it up

But while the poor they eat from hand to mouth

The rich are drinkin’ from the golden cup

And it just makes me wonder

Why so many lose and so few win, ha

 

Give me something to believe in

If there’s a Lord above

Give me something to believe in

Oh, Lord arise

 

Yeah, sometimes I wish to God I didn’t know now

Things I didn’t know then, yeah

And give me something to believe in

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5uamDMoW4o

 

Peace be with us all!