Signs and Not Listening

Whether you believe in divine intervention, signs from God, or you believe in intuition. When your body speaks, it's from somewhere and we are meant to listen to it.

I DIDN'T

In October 2017, I had a very terrifying menstrual episode that was so horrific, I called people I knew in the medical field to get them to ease my mind, "maybe it was pre-menopause, hormonal, etc." Although each of them said I should go see the doctor, I heard them say, "but yes that could be pre-menopause" What I didn't hear was their concern, their worry, their "but you are too young". I heard what I wanted to hear, because I was AFRAID.

At the time that this was going on, I was far away from my Faith and definitely far away from any morals I had established for myself back when I was walking (or trying) with Jesus. In so many ways I was failing to follow God's word and also failing to listen to the warning that my temple was falling.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies"

I was so far from that. I was eating what I wanted. I was giving myself excuses to not work out. I was delighting my flesh by temporary "hook-ups" that eased the pain I felt at being alone, my grief I felt from losing my parents, my spouse and that feeling of empty-nesting that I didn't want.

So on that night that the first cancer sign presented itself to me, I knew something was wrong. I knew that bleeding that amount, in an unending flow, with pain that was relentless, was not right. But I was AFRAID. I was afraid of being sick, of having my small inconsequential life upset by medical issues. I was barely surviving financially, but I was doing it month-to-month and had PRIDE in the fact that I was surviving ALONE. So I ignored those signs.

Then November, December and January I was fine, no episodes and I thought, whew I dodged a bullet. Then February was so bad that I did make an appointment to see my Doctor in April of 2018. Unfortunately she had to reschedule me and I didn't get seen until July, 2018. Because I didn't see the urgency of being seen, after all in my head I was fine (despite all the signs that I wasn't).

In this time, I never once PRAYED! I felt so far removed from GOD, so unworthy of his love, his grace, that I didn't even seek it.

Fear is not ever a thought/feeling/emotion we are supposed to feel, because GOD says (all over the Bible) but for this I'll use this:

Psalms 23:4 "Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.:

Yet, being so broken and living a life out of God's plan, I didn't believe and I didn't pray, I just stayed AFRAID and suffered.

Lesson - don't let fear prevent you from listening and seeing the signs we are given every day. Our bodies are Temples of the Lord, so if there is something wrong with your temple, there will be a sign.

For more on signs and symptoms of cancer, please visit:

https://www.cancer.org/

God Bless!